A long thought on wishing for personal perceived perfection and the desire to take up less space.

Image Credit: 
Public Domain

I want to be Audrey Hepburn thin
Have a ribcage like spun glass
A wrist you could crush like styrofoam in your hand
Skin like paper
A thing you can scribble all over

I want to be Audrey Hepburn thin
I won’t be satisfied ’til my clothes hang off me like
the costume on a scarecrow
Something to scare away the crows
Forever waiting in the wings
Picking at their beaks

I want to be Audrey Hepburn thin
The kind of skinny full of cancelled dinner dates
And an inbox full of messages from your heart sick mother
Who says she’s just checking in
And why don’t you go for lunch together one day

I want to be Audrey Hepburn thin
I’m sick of taking up so much space
I’m not a constellation
I’m not even particularly brave
I’m just tired
Rather weary in my chest
The world is ending

And yet I’m no closer to rest…

Penny Tigerlily Lane is a Margate-based spoken word poet and host of Dead Island Poets Society.

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