On the death of the husband of a friend.

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two nights ago, I woke
in a cold sweat knowing
you were gone,
searched for your obituary

two nights ago, I felt a chill
run through my body at 4 a.m.
and I have never felt such loss
in the echoing of my bones

it still feels unreal―
like you are not really gone
like this is all just a sick dream
like the cancer did not win

two nights ago, when I fell asleep
you were still breathing and married
to one of the kindest women I know
and I shrugged off the feeling

two nights ago, I felt my body shatter
when you died and your name
and the obituary had not been released
and she was still Mrs, not Ms

Jocelyn is a law student, poet, and performer. She has published three volumes of poetry and performed in three countries.

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